When I was in college obtaining my bachelors degree in social work, I registered for a class that had to do with small group interactions. In the class, we had to share our ideas and thoughts in our small group of 6. At the end of the class we had to evaluate each other based on your participation in the group.
I was mortified when this happened…
My classmates said that “I didn’t speak or share.” They said I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing because I did share, however they didn’t hear me.
What happened?
They didn’t hear me because I used to giggle after I spoke. I had a huge challenge with nervous laughter and it basically discounted everything I said. As a result, they literally didn’t absorb anything I shared. When I spoke it was like it never happened.
I have worked incredibly hard at finding my voice, speaking it confidently and sharing my truth. Even at times, I am still working on that today.
The communication challenges I was having were in direct proportion to my beliefs about my own value and self worth. I didn’t believe in me so I created negative communication challenges to support that.
When I realized I was creating the end result of others not hearing me, I made a conscious decision and started to take the right steps to changing what I was doing. When self-doubt and fear showed up, it was totally up to me to change my experience and focus on my desired outcome. Today, I create the reality I want to experience. How about you?
If you’re experiencing a communication breakdown or speaking roadblock that you want to change, follow my 3 step process that worked for me.
#1 Acknowledge That You Do It.
You can’t change something if you aren’t aware that you are doing something. From the ahs and ums, to nervous laughter to rambling on, these simple behaviors are impacting your life. When it comes to speaking, you might want to use a video camera or a voice recording to get super clear on what you need to change. This way you will get the real truth. A video camera or a voice recording will always tell you the truth, unlike supportive family and friends who don’t want to hurt your feelings.
#2 Acknowledge When You Do It.
Are there certain speaking circumstances that result in an unwanted behavior showing up? They are situational TRIGGERS because they trigger a behavior and often we don’t even know that it is happening. By starting to acknowledge specifically when a undesired behavior shows up, it will give you an opportunity to get a handle on it and the reason why it is happening to you.
#3 Make a Committed Decision to Releasing this Behavior for Good!
If something in your life isn’t working, it is time to change it. Decide what you are going to do instead and do it! There is no other way around it. It may be replacing the unwanted behavior with something more positive or making a commitment to never doing it again with the absolute desire to sticking to it.
Nothing changes unless we are willing to take the steps to change it.
Go for Your Dreams!
AmondaRose
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